Yes, I'm an Angry Black Woman. But that's because I have a lot to be angry about.

OK, OK, I know what you thinking – ‘Whoa, a politically-charged race piece?! Where do I hide?’ But before you run off screaming, hear me out when I say this won’t just be an extended rant article. Trust me, that wouldn’t be beneficial to either of us.

I’ve mentioned this briefly in a post before, but those of you who have had the...  pleasure of knowing me in real life know I can be quite brash in both my speech and my demeanour. It’s in my nature to be brassy and loud. I don’t know when I developed this personality trait and I’m not about to delve into my past psychiatrist-style in order to find out. None of us want to read though that, least of all me. However, I am fully aware that this side of my personality can most definitely be off-putting. This applies to both new people I meet (as frequently demonstrated during my university freshers’ week) and old associates. These same associates will tell you that I get, shall we say, ‘heated’ about both trivial matters and bigger matters. So, the next logical question is “Sarah, if you know people don’t like that part of you, why don’t you change?” It’s a good question, disembodied-voice-in-my-head-that-motivates-to-write-this-blog: the answer to which is quite simply. I have tried changing my personality before with varying degrees of success. You know how it can be in secondary school, constant pressure all around, whether it’s to conform to a certain world view, or to impress a certain person. But most of all, I was prompted to change my personality because I was deafly afraid of being typecast as ‘one of those angry black girls’ you hear about. I was already an outsider and my debilitating need to be accepted made me aware of the idea that people might actively avoid me because “Oh, you don’t want to antagonize Sarah, she’ll go all ghetto on you”. But I’m older now. I have developed as a person, meaning I know better”

Why don’t I change my assertive personality? – Because I don’t’. fucking. want to.

When you type in ‘Angry Black Woman” into google, you’ll see a barrage of articles and Tumblr posts about ‘The myth of the angry black woman’. False. Angry black women in the classic sense exist. I am one, and furthermore, I am proud to be one. I think the problem lies within the popularized stereotype. I wish I could count the amount of times a strong black female personality has been written off as ‘angry’ just because she has a viewpoint that opposes popular opinion, or when I see that loud mouth girl from the hood in pop culture only there to provide comic relief (the latest example being in the new female Ghostbusters reboot).

But make no mistake, this doesn’t boil down to an issue of female empowerment either. Why? Well, have you noticed how feminism is cool? Correct me if I'm wrong, but there seems to be very little tolerance for the oppression of women – specifically white women, yes –in both the media and day-to-day life. Countless ad campaigns about ‘The Strong Women’ and Hollywood actresses lobbying for equal pay to their male counterparts. “Equal Pay! Stop Sexualising me! Equality! YEAH!”  OK.  That’s fine. But ask yourself who mainstream feminism really benefits. The example that probably springs to mind for all of us is that of Nicki Minaj. She is constantly advocating the empowerment of young women. But god forbid she be seen as a traditional feminist role model because she shakes her big booty in her music videos and she doesn’t stand idly by when someone takes a personally shot at her. Adversely, other personalities whose name may or may not rhyme with ‘Lemma Rotson’ who essentially says the same thing is given a bloody fanfare, with the addition of not conforming to male standard of beauty or not being subjected to sexual slurs. Black women would LOVE the chance to care about topics so menial.

Here’s the thing – I'm proud of the persona I currently inhabit because at least I have a personality. Let’s face it, me being sassy and assertive and loud and sometimes gaudy is what make me a memorable personality and frankly, this blog wouldn’t be as interesting if I wasn’t that person. It’s just part of whom I am, and I love it. So why would I want to substitute it because ‘they’ don’t understand me – I don’t see how that’s my problem. And besides, since when did being assertive, sassy, passionate make you angry? Nevertheless, there are still those who want me to act a certain way because I don’t fit the description of type of person they think I should be, and to be honest it’s quite baffling. So to the people that tell me I'm “not black enough”, call me ‘Oreo’, say that my speech is too posh, the fact I'm studying Classics at uni means ‘I'm studying to be white’ or – and this one is my favourite – say ‘I'm to educated to be black’?!

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Like any human, regardless of race or creed, I have very valid and complex feelings about certain issues that I am one hundred percent entitled to, probably more so than other in regards to my own identity –and I don’t soon plan on apologising for trying to become what I consider to be the best version of myself.

Wanna know the ironic thing? Right now, I am kind of angry.

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Ahh, it’s good to be back! You probably don’t plan your calendar around my blog post, but I am genuinely sorry it’s taken me so long to update. I’d say it’s because I have a life, but you would probably guess that’s not strictly true. I will also be back to Tuesdays next week but for the time being, this all I can give you. As always, I really do appreciate the read; share it, love it, like it, talk about it, give feedback. All welcome.